August 31, 2005

It's all good...

Although I've always thought it should be "from Diego to the Hood." Whateva.

Saw the doc, plans are in motion, had a few more hours of peace and back to normal last night. I'm not expecting any overnight cures - trying to keep things in perspective, but I do believe I see the light at the end of this tunnel. Thank you again for all your comments and support. I'm glad to know that I can make someone else feel just a little bit better about their own craziness. (Is that redundant? Their own? Sounds okay. I'm a little loopy this morning. ;-) )

Watch out WORLD! I'm coming back!

Posted by Cara at 09:23 AM | Comments (12)

August 30, 2005

Game. Set. Match.

That's about how long it took. Literally.

In case you don't recognize it, that's the Sunshine Sock. It goes everywhere, but never gets finished. This is kind of a cheat. We were in a Very Important Person's seats (don't worry, we were allowed) and G thought it might not be good form to knit while in those seats (ala Elaine and her Baltimore Orioles Cap.) So I took out the sock for the obligatory picture, and I did knit one row (note - not even a WHOLE round) for posterity's sake.

The best part of the evening? Well, I had a few hours where I was peaceful. Dare I say it? I had some fun. Of course, today I'm back to doubting it will ever come again, but it was there. And a Big Mac never tasted so good.

I think I may have scared some of you yesterday. Rest assured, my family and friends (which includes my dentist, my dry cleaner, the woman on the #7 train yesterday) all know my situation and are on top of it. I'm OKAY. Really I am. I may feel like utter crap, but I'm OKAY. And one day, hopefully really really soon, this will be a distant memory. I still remember the Summer of 2000. It wasn't pretty, but here I am five years later and this summer wasn't half as bad as that one. So, it's all okay. Thanks for caring.

Posted by Cara at 01:18 AM | Comments (7)

August 29, 2005

Fixin' A Hole

Since I haven't been able to fix the hole in my sanity, I decided, as a diversion, I'd fix the hole in the pinwheel blanket.

Remember this?

It's the baby blanket I made for my nephew, who's now, oh I don't know, FOUR MONTHS OLD! Have his gentle fingers ever touched the blanket? NO. Has he ever been wrapped in the love I infused it with when I made it? NO. It has sat in my den, lonely and unloved, because of this:

Time to fix this bad boy. First, I ripped back the bound off edge just past the holes.

Then, with the live stitches now secured on the needle, I started dropping stitches.

And then I picked them up, one by one.

Here are a couple close-ups of it finished:

It's not the greatest fix in the world, and honestly, I don't think Eli will care. I actually don't really like the blanket. I mean, I like it - I like the pattern and I like the yarn - but not necessarily together. You know what I mean? If you're looking for truly inspiring pinwheels, Larissa's got a great gallery going on. I think, eventually, Eli will get another blanket. One I'm happy with.

Okay, well that didn't take nearly enough time, LOL. Trying to get through the days here folks! I did cast on the front of Short Rows, I've got about eight more rows before the first set of short rows starts. And I've been enjoying The Diamond Fantasy Shawl. I'd highly recommend it to people starting out with lace. It calls for a sportweight yarn so you don't have to fuss with lace weight and the charts are really nice to follow. I've only had one mistake (knock wood) so far and it was because I threw in an extra yarn over.

Don't Believe the HYPE!

That concludes the knitting portion of today's post, so you can leave now if you don't feel like hearing about my misery. That's right - I'm STILL MISERABLE! I've gotten some nice emails from you good folks thanking me for sharing this part of my life, so I feel like why not?

Here's a little bit of the problem - imagine you're standing on a high ledge (doesn't even have to be that high) and you're looking over the side. What's the first thought that comes to your mind? What if I fall over? Or what if I were to jump off? I'm sure everyone has thoughts like this - it's the situation - the thought comes in and goes out and bang you move on to the outfit the woman to the right is wearing (what is she CRAZY?!) What I do is think those same normal thoughts - but somewhere inside a twist happens and the next thing I know I'm wondering if I WANT to jump off. Or WHAT IF I lost control and jumped off? Then I'm thinking what the hell is wrong with me and then I CAN'T STOP thinking and the next thing I know I'm in a panic attack. And then I can't get out of my head. The thoughts just go over and over themselves and no amount of rationalizing (They're just THOUGHTS! They don't MEAN anything!) can help. Eventually I can get out of my head - but that's where the anticipatory anxiety rears it's ugly head. Those niggling little thoughts like - you don't have the thoughts now, but WHAT IF they come back? Ooooh. They would be BAD. So you worry so much that the thoughts will come that, DUH, they DO come back.

This weekend I played 5,301 hands of solitaire. Trying to get out of my FUCKING head. Thoughts on high balconies are nothing - try adding in some about your precious home life that brings you peace and security and that'll really knock the wind out of you. DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE!

I'm getting angry about the whole thing. I haven't seen my shrink in over three weeks and I finally have an appointment tomorrow. I'm also not eating so well, which only perpetuates the whole cycle for me. I can't eat when I'm anxious - I get really nauseous. Weight Watchers Schmeight Watchers. Try some crazy when you want to drop that last ten pounds.

I'd spin, but my body is so tense I don't know what I'd do to the yarn. The kink could probably launch a space shuttle.

Please don't leave me comments like feel better soon. I WILL get over this. I always do. I'm fighting to get my life back. It's only a temporary situation. I KNOW this - it's only when you're in it that you think you'll never get out. In reality, I do all the things I need to do during the day - I'm working, I'm living - if you saw me walking down the street you'd thing - wow - who's that hot girl? (You know, because I've lost all this weight! ;-) ) I only blog about this to possibly help someone else. I'm past the pity stage, so don't throw any this way.

Posted by Cara at 12:21 PM | Comments (32)

August 26, 2005

Laugh Riot!

Thanks everyone for leaving me so many awesome jokes. It was great fun reading all of them - I laughed out loud, I scratched my head, I had a couple ewww moments - but all and all I had fun!

Without further ado - we have a winner!

TIFFANY

Tiffany's joke was:

The momma and daddy tomato were out for a nice walk with their baby. The farther they walked along the further the baby tomato would fall back. The momma tomato called out to her baby "Come along little one!", even so he kept falling behind. The father called back sternly "Hurry up, lets get going!!", and he fell back even further. Finally the momma tomato became fed up and walked all the way back to the baby tomato and stomped her foot down and yelled "KETCHUP!!!"

I love it! Tiffany will receive the Jamieson & Smith yarn and some sheepy or flower cards. And a little goofy something else.

The funniest joke prize goes to Jody. My sister kept track of the jokes with me and we both agreed that her joke was the funniest, smartest, and all around just a great joke. We laughed every time we told it to anyone that would listen. What's the joke you ask?

A chicken and an egg are laying in bed together. The chicken rolls over, lights a cigarette, turns to the egg and says "Well, I guess we answered that question."

LOL! Excellent! I haven't gotten tired of it yet! Jody - you will receive sheepy or flower cards and something else goofy.

Girls - email me your addresses!
Thanks again for playing and have a great, laugh riot weekend!

Posted by Cara at 10:12 PM | Comments (7)

August 23, 2005

Laugh-In

If you're American when you go in the bathroom, and you're American when you leave the bathroom, what are you when you're IN the bathroom?

European!

~+~+~+~+~

It's so good it's worth repeating. Lord knows I need some cheering up these days - and I know I'm not the only one - so tell me a joke!

This ain't no kids site, so make it bawdy, make it silly, make it stupid, make it witty, make it BAD, but whatever you do MAKE IT FUNNY!

Leave me a joke in the comments and I'll put your name in the hat for this:

That's 4oz. of Jamieson & Smith 2-ply jumper-weight in Cream - perfect for that End-of-Summer-of-Lace pattern! Oh yeah and you'll get some sheepy or flower cards, whichever you prefer. Or both if you want. And maybe some other goofy prize. We'll see how funny you are.

Feel free to leave as many comments as you want, but I'm only going to enter your name once. I'll close the contest Friday night.

ETA: I've also decided to give a runner-up prize (photocards and a little goofy something) to the commenter who tells me what I consider the BEST joke of the bunch. So GET FUNNY!

~+~+~+~+~

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he will give him a free drink if he would show him something truly amazing...

"Sure" agreed the bartender "if you really wow me."

So the man opens a paper bag he brought in and opens it up. He pulls out a little piano. Then he pulls out a little man and the man starts playing the piano.

"Wow," says the bartender pouring the man a drink, "How´d you get that guy?"

"I got a genie," says the man, "You wanna try it, he only gives one
wish."

The bartender agrees and the man pulls a lamp out of the bag and hands it to the bartender. The bartender rubs the lamp and out pops a genie and offers the bartender 1 wish.

"I wish for a million bucks" -- and the bar is immediately filled with geese. "I said a million bucks, not ducks. What, is this genie deaf?"

The guy replies, " Do you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?"´

Posted by Cara at 06:06 PM | Comments (64)

World Peace

I've decided that if I spent half of the time and energy I spend on my anxiety, worrying about whether or not I'll be anxious, thinking about NOT thinking - well, frankly, I'd have found the solution to world peace by now. Either that or I'd be building the Google Elevator.

Something, anything more productive than driving yourself crazy and then having to pull yourself out of the hole.

Margene, zen master, has an interesting post on Motivation today. I'm thinking in a similar, yet opposite direction. What kind of LACK of motivation allows you to slip down that slope - fully conscious of what's going to happen THROUGH YEARS OF EXPERIENCE - and yet you can't get off your ass to stop it? Do I need to feel like shit for some reason? Am I going to come out the other side with some great revelation? I KNOW how to stop it - even before it really starts, yet I let it happen. Granted, there were lots of things this summer working against me (Hello? People who control the Weather?) but still.

You know what? What's done is done. This is who I am. I just hope it doesn't take me too long to get through it. I am SO OVER me.

On to knitting.

Look! Is it a bird? A plane? A superhero? No. It's just a Short Row back - T2 style.

Take Two

It's seems a little bit wonkier than the first version, but I've decided that because of the short rows, this will never be a flat knit. Blocking may help, but there are so many ends and so many starts and stops with the yarn. The size looks good - I've compared it to my prototype (the pullover in my closet that fits nice) and it's right on. I've woven in half the ends and I feel good about the other half. The front is next, as soon as possible, and I'll deal with the sleeves last. I have company coming tomorrow for a couple of days, so we'll see how I do with it.

Socks are stalled. The Sunshine sock is stockinette and I need that like I need another hole in the head. Mindless knitting equates to idle hands. Which means the devils are hard at work. I've got (maybe) one more repeat on the long lost never ending Retro Rib sock and then I can turn the heel. Don't hold your breath.

Since socks aren't doing the trick, I started something new. After finishing the Flower Basket Shawl and the Acorn Socks, I wanted some more lace. But I couldn't find a yarn or pattern that I was happy with. I didn't want to do the Leaf Lace - too similar to FBS. I actually bought two Robert Powell shawl patterns - #103 (pattern) and #106 (kit). The kit came with 4 oz. of Jamieson & Smith 2-ply jumper-weight in Cream which I will probably never knit (look for a contest soon!) but I still like the patterns. Couldn't decide on a yarn.

And then I saw this. And this. And this. And I bought some of this. And here we go!

Sivia Harding's Diamond Fantasy Shawl
Twinkletoes Sock Yarn - Foggy Dew

I also bought some Twinkletoes Denim Multi - hard to photograph though.

So far I'm liking the pattern - although I have yet to finish the first repeat section. But it's easy to understand and I feel like I will have the charts figured out - you know what I mean - when you GET the lace pattern - pretty soon.

The yarn. I don't know. I definitely like the colors and the weight and the texture. I don't know if I'd ever use this for socks though - it's kind of scratchy - but for the shawl I think it will be good. It seems like it will block well. One thing though - when I was winding up the Denim Multi - the yarn broke once at the beginning and once at the end of the wind. May be I was too tough with it? But it also has a few knots here and there, which annoy me. Juries still out on this - but like I said - I can't imagine I'd use it for socks. Maybe there are lots of shawls in my future. I do have like 1500 yds of the denim. Not sure what I was thinking there. Or NOT thinking. Hahahahahaha.

I started this post on a dark note and I'm going to finish it on a good one. A couple of weeks ago I received an email to my blog address asking if I was the same person who wrote a story entitled "The BBC" which appeared in Fourteen Hills, the literary journal out of San Franciso State University. I replied that indeed I was. Welp, it turns out that FH is putting out an anthology of fiction from the first ten years of the journal and they've decided to include my story. I also found out my story will appear along side some of my favorite writers! Lydia Davis! Lynne Tillman! Peter Orner! Pam Houston! Next to little ol' me! What an ego boost! As you know, my writing has suffered the last couple of years - but this has spurred me on! I actually took out a story yesterday - one I've been wanting to revise - and read it and took notes! This could be it the opening I've needed....

Open up the windows and sing out loud! It's a beautiful day today!

Posted by Cara at 12:17 PM | Comments (19)

August 18, 2005

To Whom It May Concern....

Thanks are due for lifting the heat and I thank you, thank you, thank you! But, without seeming greedy, could you please lift the funk as well? I'm getting kind of tired feeling like crap AND crazy simultaneously, and it seems some of my friends are as well.

Pretty please?

I'll knit ya something.

Love,
Crazy McCraperton

Oh and in case you need some cheering up too, here's my favorite joke. My nephew and I shared a good 'ol belly laugh over it!

If you're American when you go in the bathroom, and you're American when you leave the bathroom, what are you when you're IN the bathroom?

That's right.

EUROPEAN!

Posted by Cara at 02:33 PM | Comments (14)

August 12, 2005

Wonder of Wonders

The trek out to STRONGIsland (as Georgie kept referring to it) was very nice, punctuated by the miracle of NO TRAFFIC coming AND going on the parking lot known as the LIE. And no, I'm not lying. In fact, the only traffic we hit the entire day was on RT 27 going to East Hampton. G thought the beach was supposed to be the best there, but it turns out the ones in Southampton rock even harder. Lovely, lovely beaches you've got out there. The water was ultra clean and the beach was ultra soft and it really was some of the best I've ever been on.

The job was great - great kids, great parents, great light. Shooting on the beach - getting wet while photographing kids in the surf is just as much fun for me as it is for them!

Not much knitting to report as I drove the three hours out there and the three hours home - seems like G can't take a day off anymore without some crisis exploding at work, but that's okay. I was happy for the company.

My friend's coming over today from out of town. She's kind of OCD about keeping things clean and a pig wouldn't even live in my house these days. I'm almost tempted to leave it and see what kind of palpitations it gives her - is that mean? Or seriously ask her to clean it for me - that's what G thinks I should do - I told her I'd pay her. I'm so tired though I think it will take all my energy to clean myself let alone my shithole house, so that might be all she gets.

Tomorrow I leave for my sister's for the week, so blogging may be sporadic. I'm only bringing socks with me, I think. Hopefully I'll manage to finish a couple of singles and possibly start on a couple of seconds. Did you all go congratulate Vicki on her first pair? They are FABULOUS and I dare say I may take a teeny bit of credit for getting her to start on them. Just a little.

Anyway, have a great weekend and a rock star week. I'll be in when I can.

L, C

(Oh and to all who asked, the beach in yesterday's photo is Manasquan in New Jersey. Never knew the Jersey shore could look so good, huh?!)

Posted by Cara at 08:22 AM | Comments (10)

August 11, 2005

The Agony of Defeat

Short Rows are killing me again. NO, not that Short Rows. Sock heel short rows. Yesterday I attempted both Wendy's version and Alison's PG-R version and while I enjoyed the short rows - I didn't enjoy the holes that formed when joining in the round again - no matter how many stitches I knit together or how many stitches I picked up. Also, when I tried it on, holes and all, I don't think I liked how it fit. Damn Short Rows! They've become my white whale for sure. So I started doing a regular gusset heel - I mean, I like it so far in the socks I've made and it works for the master, so who am I to argue, right? I would like to try an afterthought heel though. That might work.

Anyway, the sock's going a road trip today. We're heading to the beach for a little sun and work, believe it or not. I've got a beach shoot. Yipee!

Posted by Cara at 09:19 AM | Comments (14)

August 10, 2005

Sox in the Bronx

The White Sox won 2-1. Apparently excellent pitching makes for a boring game, and of course we missed the two big homers in the 9th because we left. Oh well.

Now that's not to say there wasn't a bit of excitement. G and I go to, on average, one baseball game every year and a half. Mainly to the Bronx, but they're ALWAYS full of excitement. The last one we went to tied for the biggest shutout in baseball since 1900. Then there was the bench clearing brawl in 1998 when Benitez hit Tino between the shoulders because he was pissed he gave up a two-run homer to Bernie. I'm normally a peaceful person, but what a fucking good brawl. And we were about to leave that game too.

The most special, most amazing of amazing baseball moments for us will always be in Fenway (tut, tut) on our wedding night. On that fateful summer evening, the Texas Rangers, ARod in tow, played the BoSox. On his first at bat, Scott Hattenberg line drived into a triple play. On his next at bat he hit a grand slam. Probably the first and ONLY time that’s ever happened in the history of baseball. And we were there. Fate stepped up to the plate.

So what happened last night? Well, the excitement really wasn't on the field, but in the stands. Sort of. Some complete and utter asshole competing for a Darwin award took a header into the net behind home plate. We were sitting two sections to the left.

Click for a better look.

So he had to crawl his way out of the net back to the stands where the cops were waiting with a loving embrace. Apparently his friends were taunting him to jump from the third level. If you want, you can read more about this stunning display of intelligence here. He may not have made ESPN, but by gawd he made the COVER OF THE POST! Impressive indeed.

I gotta say, my mind was changed about one aspect of America's game. I've always hated what I've thought to be phony patriotism during the seventh inning stretch. Instead of a rousing rendition of Take Me Out to the Ball Game, the powers that be have decided to play God Bless America, followed up by a really goofy Take Me Out. To me, this always smacks of lip service and Ghouliani and profiting off of dead soldiers and civilians. I don't know HOW they're actually profiting - maybe in brownie points - but still. Insincere, maybe? At least that's the feeling I've come away with. Especially when that Ronan Tynan guy does it. But last night they had a recording of Kate Smith - guaranteed to be from a fantastic Flyers game - and I was struck by the fact that HEY! We're at WAR! Men and women are DYING FOR MY RIGHT TO BE AT THIS BALLGAME! Suddenly it all seemed very appropriate. God Bless Kate Smith. She really knew how to bring a point home.

Posted by Cara at 09:22 AM | Comments (11)

August 09, 2005

Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda

Cockiness will get you every time.

This post was supposed to lead off with a stunning portrait of a completed Short-Rows back. With all the ends lovingly woven in. And I was supposed to brag about how I didn't rip once on this version of the back, it just flew off the needles without a thought, totally Zen like, and that I was all excited about the project, having already cast on for the front in my mind - sewn up the side seams - knit both sleeves together and voila! It was FINITO in all it's glory.

Instead this post will tell you that I was thisclose to having it done, chugging along, having WOVEN IN ALL THE ENDS AS I FINISHED EACH SHORT ROW SECTION!!!! Yesterday, when I started knitting, I was about to start the second short row section, which also coincides with the raglan decreasing, so you know, it would go super fast. And, again, I repeat (yelling at the top of my lungs) when I started to knit yesterday ALL THE PREVIOUS ENDS WERE WOVEN IN! But I got to the end of the first part of the second short row section and something wasn't right. I don't know - it just didn't look right. But I shouldered on, then ripped. Then shouldered on making the same damn mistake, then ripped. Finally, I said fuck it and compared my old back to the new back and found the mistake. You were supposed to leave off the last two rows of the repeat, not the last row and first row like you were earlier. DUH!

So I need to rip out the short rows I did. The back will not be done for a few more days, and so there are no fabulous pictures of stellar progress.

Today I will be taking a break from short rows and going back to the sock - any sock - I don't care. I'll be knitting with Jen today and then tonight G and I and his bro are going to the Yankee game. I'll be knitting on the sock there tonight too. Thank god it's not a red sock, though, because I think that might be too much for the Bronx.

Posted by Cara at 09:30 AM | Comments (10)

August 07, 2005

Got Gauge?

You asked for it, you got it! The hottest t-shirt in the world....

ALL PROCEEDS go to HEIFER INTERNATIONAL toward the purchase of KNITTING BASKETS.

Pick a button - spread the word!

Super special thanks to EYELEEN! She did it all - the store, the graphics - honestly, I'm just the accountant. Thank you Eyeleen for making my dream a reality! :)

Posted by Cara at 05:53 PM | Comments (17)

August 06, 2005

happy day, my love.

Posted by Cara at 08:06 AM

August 05, 2005

Where I Learn From My Mistakes

I would take pictures, but really, it's so not necessary.

I started up Short Rows again last night and can I tell you? I really am learning from my mistakes. I'm almost excited about it! So far I've got like three or four ends and they're already woven in (I'm trying to weave in as I go on the straight rows. It won't work on the short rows, but still, that's 529 LESS ends to weave, right?) Some of those might have to be tweaked a little bit, but I'm also carrying the yarn up the sides even though the pattern continually says CUT THE YARN. By way of NOT CUTTING THE YARN I can also incorporate that other really neat stripe trick of knitting from which ever side the yarn might be on. Note: you can only do this if you're using circs, which of course I am. For instance, say you knit a row with the blue but the next row you have to change to green. And the green is on the opposite side. So what! Just knit another row with the green! Of course, it may also happen that you have to purl a few rows and maybe you hate to purl. But can I make a confession here? Sometimes I like to purl more than I like to knit. Really. And I'm a thrower. But somehow sometimes it feels like I get more in a rhythm with the purl rows and I can go faster. Yeah, I'm weird like that.

So anyway, I completed one pattern repeat. In this case, I'm calling a pattern repeat the fourteen rows that make up the stripe sequence. My goal is to do repeat a day - two or more on the weekends. And when the short rows come into play - well - all bets are off. Those suckers can go really fast. And I'm going to try and make sure that the ends are in after each repeat. Stop laughing. I said I'm going to TRY. That's all I can do, right?

I'm SO OVER Summer. How about you? Yesterday I had one of those killer headaches - you know the ones? Where the clouds are bursting - but nothing's happening? It's like the weather's freaking constipated or something. Just RAIN already. They said it rained for like five seconds or something but I didn't feel it. And this morning I woke up with a headache - just a little one - and it seems to have dissipated, but ugh. Enough. E-NOUGH! (That's a nod to my sister, if she's reading...hey Jol!)

I know I can't really complain because I'm in my ice-box of a house with plenty of air conditioning and comforts but yet the heat is still sapping my energy. I just KNOW that if I go outside I will DIE and it's making me sad. I miss the flowers. Add to that the fact that the next few weeks are going to be super busy and in between I'm back at my sister's for a week. G's going to California (without me - work stuff) and I'm alone so much as it is I can't stand to be alone at nights so I'm going to Philly. But as much as I love the kiddies and my sis and hanging out, I'm ready to be home for a while. Without heat. In some kind of a schedule. You know?

All right already! E-NOUGH bitching! Bring on the FALL!

Posted by Cara at 10:10 AM | Comments (9)

August 04, 2005

Well Hello Dali!

I GOT IT! I got the damn picture. Whew! Can you say YARN DIET?
When G got home last night I told him I got his birthday present, MY birthday present, our anniversary present and Christmases and Chanukahs to come. (And because he's the sweetest boy in the Universe, after I told him about it he actually asked me, what'd you get for yourself? DOH! He said, no, that won't do! Mwah, my love!)

So it was a live auction kind of thing and because I've never bid on anything save two roving things on ebay I thought, why not watch the live auction stuff. I put in my high bid and opened up the applet thingy at around 11AM when "they" said my lot was going to come up. Well, apparently my AUCTION started at 11AM, but my lot didn't scroll past until 3:30PM and I watched all that freaking time. Yup. I'm crazy like that. But it was pretty fascinating with the bids running up the screen and the auctioneer saying (well typing - there wasn't actually any sound - although that would've been really cool) it was about to close - and my heart raced a little at the thought that I'd be missing out on the cloisonne tea cups engraved with strange birds that may or may not have been from Italy. Weird shit out there. And people buying it. I thought I had it all figured out - I was an Internet bidder, surely and there were floor bids and I was a little disconcerted that only floor bids seemed to win. And then the reserve wouldn't be met and the auctioneer would post a message reserve not met - bid again - and no bids would come in and the reserve wouldn't be met and yet the floor bid would win. Interesting. All of it. And then FINALLY it seemed like my print was coming up. I was sitting on the edge of my chair - nails lost long ago over the fierce bidding on a Bavarian turn-of-the-century cuckoo-clock - when the bidding started. $50 Floor bid. $60 Internet bid (could that be me?!) $90 bid. $375 bid Floor bid. Auction CLOSED.

WHAT?! How could it go from $90 to $375 and who was this FLOOR BID person stealing my prized Dali print that would make Georgie cry!?!?!? (Always the goal of any gift. I'm shameless, I know.)

I called my sister to tell her I lost. I was almost in tears, exhausted from watching every last bad oil painting from someone's basement stroll by on the screen. Tired from all the gilt. All the pewter. All the vermeil.

Then I went looking for the print online - even though I had looked a million times before and never found it. In fact, I had given up until Lee Ann had read a comment I made on Jenny's site and SHE found it for me. Bless you Lee Ann! Bless you. And to compound the problem, Dali, in his infinite ~~obsession~~ wisdom, did 819 versions of St. George slaying the Dragon. But ONLY ONE is the RIGHT ONE. And of course, that's the hardest to find.

Oh but find it I did. Right here. I was about to buy it when I thought, you know what? I better talk to G first. Maybe we didn't like it as much as I thought we did. Maybe it's better I didn't win the auction. Think of all the YARN I could buy with that money. I did buy him a $24 briefcase that he'll be (maybe) perfectly happy with. I rationalized the whole thing away.

And then I checked my email. Turns out I was the floor bid of $375. I WON THE DAMN PRINT!!! I instantly felt sick to my stomach. Buyer's remorse set in like a thick fog on the ocean. And how the hell did the bidding go from $90 to $375 JUST LIKE THAT?

I actually called them and they were quite nice about it - explaining to me that my bid was in already and they bumped it up to meet the reserve (since my high bid was just over the reserve number) instead of having to bump it up $10 a shot for the next hour. They saved me time.

And while I'm feeling all sick about it, G said to me, "that was so smart of you!" and telling me I have to frame it AS SOON AS WE GET IT and scoping out places in the house to hang it and refusing to look at it online because he wants to be surprised by it! And now you know why I've been with this incredible, delightful, crazy-as-me man for fifteen years.

Oh yeah. I finished the second square for the John Glick Project while I was watching old Fisher Price toys scroll by and I did some knitting on my Sunshine socks, only to find out I had added an extra stitch somewhere back about 1000 rows and had to rip it. Rip it good. Dadadada da don da don. Rip it GOOD!

Posted by Cara at 08:13 AM | Comments (16)

August 03, 2005

Fifteen

That's how long G and I have been together - and to be honest - it's freaking me out a little.

Saturday is fifteen years since THAT DAY. The day we first decided that we were going to be together forever, and while it hasn't been completely smooth sailing, time has definitely flown by. I can't believe it's been that long. We've lived together for fourteen of those years and been married for four. When we finally did get married, I insisted that it be on August 6th - THAT DAY - eleven years later. I'm so glad we did that. It was a Monday, like the one in 1990 and we eloped in Vermont, just the two of us and Taffy, our JP and the flowers in front of the court house where our ceremony took place exactly matched the flowers that were painted on my dress. I got married with a plain platinum band and inside it's inscribed August 6 - because I couldn't decide between 1990 and 2001 and I wanted to incorporate both.

Why is it freaking me out? I love G more than anything and he's truly my best friend in the world - the person I feel safest with. I think I'm freaking out because I'm getting older. It's really odd to think that I've been with him my ENTIRE ADULT LIFE. I've now lived out of my parents' house longer than I lived there. I've known G for eighteen years.

G is almost eight years older than me (his birthday is on Sunday) and he's fighting the whole aging thing and I've always been pretty cavalier about it - you're only as old as you feel yada yada yada. But guess what? Turns out those numbers are kind of scary after all!

Of course, I know, you can't look at your life as a series of numbers - but it's anniversaries and birthdays when you DO look at those numbers and they keep getting bigger and bigger and you just have to wonder - where did all that time go? And how much time is left? [GASP!] It doesn't seem like it's been that long at all, which I'm sure is a good thing - if it felt like forever I'd be really worried.

As I mentioned, G's birthday is on Sunday. Birthday's were never a big deal in his family, but they're a big deal to me. G and I are incredibly generous with each other all year round - in time, in love, in gifts - I mean really - if we want it we generally just get it for us. But I used to love spoiling him early on in our relationship. Waking up on his birthday and pulling out all of these elaborately wrapped gifts. He would get so choked up and I love making him feel special. As the years have gone on - it's getting harder and harder to spoil him. Hence, I have nothing for his birthday this year. Sure, keeping sane has kept me preoccupied, but still, I like to have SOMETHING.

Lee Ann might have solved the problem. She found a Dali print we saw last year on a trip to Cape Cod - a lithograph of St. George & the Dragon that we fell in love with (my patron saint, if you will!) and I looked and looked and couldn't find it and then LeeAnn goes and finds it in like five seconds. But anyway, it's up for auction today and I just put a bid in. I have no way to gauge the price on these things - it's beyond my scope - but I hope I get it and I hope it doesn't go to my high bid.

I didn't do any knitting - well a couple of rows on a square - yesterday. That's okay - I've still got ten weeks and three days to finish short rows.

Posted by Cara at 09:21 AM | Comments (19)

August 02, 2005

Pitiless

Remind me, next time I throw a pity party, I better put out some snacks. I'm not sure you've got the magnitude of my pain. I have to RIP out HALF a sweater I'VE ALREADY KNIT because it's TOO BIG!!!! A sweater where I've already woven in 4,361 ENDS!!!

Okay. I'm done feeling sorry for myself. My new goal is to have the sweater done by Rhinebeck. Think I can do it? I'm going to order some new yarn today - I think I can do it. I've got 10 weeks and like four days or something. Definitely doable. Even with some other stuff thrown in there. COME ON!!!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!! (Got to psych myself up.)

I'm feeling much more even these days and therefore thinking about things that aren't so bad - like writing and photography. I haven't taken flower pictures in a while - due to the extreme weather. Even though it's broken and isn't quite so hot, it's been breezy here and breeze is BAD when it comes to macro stuff. It's hard enough to get little bugs and the insides of flowers in focus, but have the stuff blowing around and it's just a headache. A hot headache.

I've been working on a kid's job I shot right before we went away and I'm VERY happy with it, to say the least. That's been fun. Some of my best work, I think. I hope the parents are as happy.

What else, what else.... Oh. Did you see Melissa's Fishie Blanket? It's absolutely fabulous. Go tell her how much you like it - because, really, you can't NOT like this blanket. I want to make a blanket like this.

I also want to knit more lace. I have like five balls of this, and I want a great big wonderful lace shawl that I can wrap around myself in the winter that's soft and warm and I can't find a pattern. I'm thinking the Leaf Lace Shawl because it's not as open as the Flower Basket Shawl, but I also saw all these wonderful lace patterns in my Barbara Walker books and I wanted to design my own shawl but that will never happen because I haven't the first clue. Any suggestions other than LLS or FBS are welcome.

I do like these patterns by Robert Powell - especially #103 and #106 (on the Kits page). I should buy it to look at it and see how hard it is. Anybody knit any of his shawls? I think I've googled it before and not found much. I like that the shawl seems really modern, but still old. Know what I mean - is it retro? Is that it?

Sorry I'm boring lately. Sometimes boring is good. Trust me on this.

Posted by Cara at 10:50 AM | Comments (15)

August 01, 2005

Got Gauge?

I want a t-shirt that says this. Who's going to help me design it? We can sell it and give the proceeds to charity. I'm not kidding. I need a t-shirt that says "got gauge?" and maybe one that says "swatch-n-bitch". What do you think?

This weekend was all about the knit, baby. And even though there was some phenomenally BAD news of the knitting variety, I enjoyed the weekend and thinking about my knits.

I'm leading off with the bad, because, well, it's so bad that I want EVERYONE to read it - none of this skimming through and missing it at the end.

Okay. Here goes.

Friday night, I FINALLY cast on the front of Short Rows. And guess what? I GOT GAUGE!!!! This may seem like a good thing, but trust me, it's very, very, very bad. Why you ask? Because when I knit the back, I didn't get gauge. Or at least I thought I didn't - I seem to remember measuring it a bunch of times. I even remember starting it a couple of times and ripping it because I DIDN'T get gauge. I deliberately, painstakingly decided to move up a size in the pattern - which would leave me with a sweater conveniently between the medium and large size. Nice and comfortable for me. But while I was casting on and knitting the front, something kept nagging at me about the back. It just seemed, so, I don't know, HUGE. And I kept pushing those bad feelings down, down into the locked closet of my brain that sucks all the bad thoughts in like a hoover - as I've been training myself to do. (It's working. A little bit. Everyday.)

But. I just couldn't let it alone.

Sunday, I got out a sweater I have that fits pretty good and put the two backs together. Then I took out not one, but three tape measures. Sure enough I GOT FUCKING GAUGE! The sweater matches perfectly to the dimensions the pattern lists for a large. It is WAY too big.

I think you all know where this is going. Do I really have to say it? At least I didn't get too far on the front (honestly, I was getting bored pretty quickly. What happened to all the love?) I'm going to cast on again for a back. In the size I should've done the whole time. I'm going to knit said back, and compare the two. Then I'm going to rip the sleeve I'VE ALREADY KNIT, because I can salvage the yarn easily. I think I might just leave the first back and buy more yarn. The thought of ripping it, after I've cut and WOVEN IN all those ends is enough to - I don't know - NEVER KNIT AGAIN?! What's a few extra dollars for a project I really loved (once) and want to get right? Don't you agree? Eventually I can rip out the bad back and make something with the yarn. But right now, I think that would just be way too depressing.

That's it. That's my awful knitty news. Feel sorry for me. Seriously - I WANT the pity.

~+~+~+~+~

On to the GOOD!

I found a new knitting store this weekend. I was looking through the new VK and came across some interesting notions. When I went on the website to see where they were sold, I found Stix-n-Stitches in Montclair, NJ. They literally opened about a week ago. The store was very nice - nice wood - roomy - lots of cool notions and stuff. Tons of Classic Elite yarns. I asked the proprietress, Sheila, what kinds of new yarns she was going to get in. No Noro or Debbie Bliss, because another yarn store in town is going to carry it. What about Rowan, I asked. Another new store opening up is going to carry that, so no. I found this really, really interesting. What do you think? Is she limiting her business by not carrying yarns that other stores in the area are carrying? I'm not sure what I think about this.

One thing she does have is a full line of ArtYarns - which happens to be one of my all time favorites - so that's good!

That's Ultramerino 4 - a new fingering weight yarn. They've come out with Ultramerino 6 as well to go along with the 8. Good stuff. Oh and I bought some circular needle size markers as well. They clip onto the wire and clip right off. Never seen them before - maybe they'll help.

All in all - a nice store that I definitely plan on going back to - Jen - whenever you're ready!

I spent a lot of time looking through stitch pattern books this weekend. I was pulling together cable patterns for my dad's sweater and also looking for stitch patterns for squares for the John Glick Afghan Project. Some fits and starts, but I've managed to identify all of the cables and I've finished one square and started another.

Both squares are from Cascade 220 I had in the stash. I love the blue-green heather color and I have more, so I might make another one with this. The stitch on that one is the Quaker Ridge from Barbara Walker - I figured it was fitting for John since by all accounts he was a peace loving man, traits the Quakers embody. The brown square stitch is called Jacob's Ladder or Ladder of Life - both of which I thought were appropriate. I've tried to infuse the squares with love. I hope they bring comfort to the recipient.

And last but not least, when your knitting gets you down, KNIT SOCKS!

I'm calling these my Walking on Sunshine socks! I'm hoping to remember the bright, warm, NOT HUMID, sunny day I started them on when I'm wearing them on a particularly cold and gray winter day. Also, they match my bright orange flip flops (which I won't be posting a picture of - they've turned black under my toes and well, ew.)

I'm using Trekking XXL Crazy Stripes in Color 38 - I'm loving me some stripes and stockinette and hey, you can never have too many socks, right Margene? (Check it out - she's got FOUR FEET!)

Posted by Cara at 10:58 AM | Comments (22)