« September 2007 | Main | November 2007 »
October 29, 2007
Progress (again)
Let this be a lesson to all - I just accidentally closed the window on this post. Well, the first time I wrote this post. Pregnancy brain blows. SAVE YOUR WORK!
You guys are CRAZY! Thank you all so much for your warm wishes and encouragement and support. I truly appreciate and am humbled by your responses. Although, I have to say, I do throw a good contest. Not that the prizes are so over the top or anything, but I get THE BEST RESPONSES! You all ROCK! THANK YOU!
The winners of the three skeins of January One STR are:
DANIELLE
NIKKI
Congratulations! And thank you all again for coming out of the woodwork. I know what it takes to stop and think and comment and I truly appreciate your being here! Good luck to all of you on your own rededications!
So. I made some progress this weekend. Unfortunately I wasn't able to knit yesterday (I took the knitting to bed and promptly feel asleep. Which I keep doing. Especially in the middle of tv shows I'm very much enjoying that I forget to record. BLAH!) but I did really well on Friday and Saturday. I've now completed the first chart and started on the second. Of course, the second will take me a million years to finish because it goes from rows 36 to 86 or something like that and you have to complete it twice and then start over and knit 36-71. I'm on like 46. Still - I'm making progress and that's all that counts.
Here are some really boring progress pictures:
The color is totally off in these pictures - the yarn is much redder. A red purple. Plum, if you will. (The yarn is called smoky plum.) I'm LOVING the gray in the yarn. It adds such dimension to it. It's all good - the yarn, the pattern. I'm enjoying myself and find that I can't stop thinking about it. YAY! I love it so much I forgot I have Addi LACE Turbos in the right size - but so far these regular Addis are doing fine.
BABY NEWS. You've been warned. Move along if need be.
I swear, it's not a baby. It's Mitt Romney. You can't imagine the flip flopping going on! Ann pointed out though, that even though it's not the baby I want (you know, human and all) there are benefits to giving birth to a millionaire. Ba dum dum. Anyway - so flips and flops and bonafide kicks! I'm definitely not as freaked out as I thought I'd be - I rather like it actually. Even Georgie thinks he's felt it a couple of times. HE's freaked out!
On the puking front I managed not to puke for five days straight. Tuesday through Saturday. That's not to say I couldn't have puked those days - I most certainly could have and one or two days I probably SHOULD have. I did throw up yesterday and I felt much better afterward. On the days I don't puke I think I wait for it and end up being nauseated much longer than I would if I just threw up. Oh and I'm 19 weeks. This should be OVER. No report yet on today but I think I'm NOT going to puke. I'm hungry all ready instead of nauseated. Things are definitely improving.
My baby is an heirloom tomato! I get these babycenter bulletins every week - your baby at 19 weeks kind of thing and they're very entertaining and interesting but the thing I love the most is that each week they compare my baby's size to that of some food. So far my baby has been a sesame seed, a small lentil bean, a blueberry, a kidney bean, a grape, a kumquat, a fig, a lime, a medium shrimp, a lemon, an avocado, a turnip, a bell pepper, and TA DA! a large heirloom tomato (which Ann says is about the size of a grapefruit.) I LOVE THIS! I will be so sorry when they run out of food. I can't wait for the day when my baby is the size of a T-BONE! WHOO HOO! Every week I torture Georgie with this - hey babe! The baby's the size of a kumquat! And he just looks at me like what does that MEAN?! They also give the inches and stuff and I can follow it up with hard data, but I just love the comparisons. They're so ridiculous!
Okay. Now that I've filled you in on all the baby and knitting - I'm leaving you. HAHAHAHAHA! No really. Just when I rededicate myself to all of it, I'm off. To my sister's for Halloween. It's become tradition - I just love going out for Halloween with the kids and this year baby is coming along. And maybe even with a costume! I told the kids they could paint my belly. Hopefully I'll have good pictures to show you when I get back. I'll be home on Thursday, so don't look for a post until Friday.
THANKS AGAIN FOR READING!
L, C
Posted by Cara at 10:03 AM | Comments (53)
October 26, 2007
Rededication
Three years ago today I started this blog. Or, really, an incarnation of this blog. It didn't start out as January One, but it didn't take me long to adopt the name. I still think it fits perfectly, encompassing much of who I am.
This weekend at Rhinebeck, among my many blogger friends - friends I would've never made had it not been for this blog, I took stock of things. Obviously, things have changed. Much less knitting. Much more baby babble. A blog is a dynamic entity. It needs to grow and change and if it had stayed the same all these years I doubt you'd be reading this right now. I'd have bored myself silly and I can't imagine what it would have done to you.
One of the most interesting things I've thought about in the last couple of days - in thinking about writing this post - is WHY I started this blog. Of course it was to catalog my knitting and talk about my knitting, but more than anything, I realize now, it was an escape. I started this blog less than two weeks after Georgie and I backed out of our first IVF transfer. Two weeks. It doesn't take Freud to understand what I was really after. And oh my god how much this blog - and you all - whether you know it or not - helped me through that very difficult time. Now that I'm on the other side - and the blog has definitely suffered for it - I find it all so fascinating.
The chances are very great, that had I gone through with the IVF the first time, and certainly if I had gotten pregnant, I might have never started this blog.
That time in my life was so difficult. I tortured myself for more than two years with the decisions looming over us. To have children, not to have children. How much to go through to get those children. And honestly I'm so glad we waited. Beyond the fact that THIS IS THE TIME FOR US, I'm completely convinced, it makes me a bit sad to know that had we gone through with it before, I might have missed all that my blog has brought me. Friends. Inspiration. Frustration. Lessons learned. All of it. I am so grateful for what this blog has given me in my life. And, it goes without saying, all of you. Sure, sometimes you make me crazy and I'm sorely tempted to close up shop, but then someone reaches out and tells me that I've helped them - or you help me in some very needed way and it's all worth it again.
Over the past three years this blog has grown in ways I've never imagined. Lately, because of the changes I'm going through and inevitably the blog is going through, many people have felt the need to tell me they won't be reading anymore. I'm not going to lie - it hurts my feelings. This blog is ME. Not all of me, but a great deal of me and who doesn't want to be loved? BUT, that's not why I write this blog. I write it because it's cathartic and an escape and because it's an outlet for my creativity that I so need in my life. An outlet for my passions. An outlet for my dreams. Everyone needs an outlet and I'd much rather blog than walk the treadmill, if you know what I mean.
So on my three year anniversary I'm rededicating myself to my blog. I will write what I want, when I want. About what I want. Maybe some of you will stay around, most likely some will not. Please, though, if you choose to go, know that I send you off with my best wishes. But don't tell me about it. Restrain yourselves. Just move along quietly. Thank you.
I've also decided to rededicate my life to my knitting. My wise friend Ann and I were discussing the current lack of knitting in my life and she had some really good insight. Generally I'm an all or nothing kind of girl. I throw myself into everything - passion is my middle name - and it's never been as satisfying to dabble. (I give you Miter Madness. Possibly the most extreme example of my obsessions.) Here I am - working my ass off everyday - collapsing at night - and I realize that what may be keeping me from my knitting is the idea that I can't knit for hours at a time. But what's wrong with fifteen minutes here or there? Even two rows? IT COUNTS. So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to try to knit a little bit every day and maybe the spark will catch again. And really, this is an excellent exercise for me. Not everything in life has to overwhelm you. Once the baby gets here I'm going to have to be content with a row here and a row there so I better get used to it now.
In honor of my third year anniversary, I cast on a new project last night. And I managed to knit more than 2 rows. 25 to be exact.
It's the Waves in the Square Shawl by Sivia Harding, one of my favorite lace designers ever! (She of Diamond Fantasy fame!) So far I'm loving the pattern and I think it will be perfect for re-entry. The lace isn't too complicated and once I get farther into the pattern there's a rhythm to it. It's also an interesting construction in that it's a triangle - but it's separated in to three sections so it sits squarer on your neck.
I think the picture above illustrates this pretty well. I'm planning on using beads on the picot bind off, as Sivia suggests, but I've got a long way to go before I get there. The yarn I'm using was a Rhinebeck purchase:
Fingering weight 100% superwash wool hand dyed by SilverSLIVER Moon Farm. (Thanks, Sharon, for pointing out I got the name wrong!! This website works fine!) The color is Smoky Plum and that's exactly what it is. There are wonderful streaks of gray running through the yarn - just subtle enough to catch your eye, but nothing that stands out as streaky in the knitted fabric. I'm enjoying myself so much that I stayed up way past my bedtime last night just to finish ONE MORE ROW. Ah. The good old days are back!
There is no pressure with this project. I have one other project planned - my stole with yarn from Briar Rose - and if I manage to get these two projects done before the babe arrives I will be so pleased. And maybe a pair of socks. If not - that's okay too. Knitting and this blog are my indulgences. I don't think I should have to give those up just because a baby is on the way. A happy mama makes for a happy baby. And knitting and blogging make me happy.
To celebrate and rededicate the blog, I'm giving away three skeins of the aptly named Socks That Rock January One sock yarn (Lightweight - my fave!) and some other knitty treats as well. Without blogging I would've never found this yarn - which truly remains my favorite. To win the yarn, leave a comment telling me a part of your life that you miss that you would like to rededicate - or maybe something you've always wanted to try but didn't have the time or were scared or whatever. Or just leave me a comment telling me to have a nice day. I will pick the winners at random. Comments will close at 11:59 EST Sunday, October 28. Winners will be announced on Monday, October 29. ONE ENTRY PER PERSON PLEASE.
Thank you for reading. Thank you for your support. Just thank you.
L, C
Posted by Cara at 11:05 AM | Comments (730)
October 24, 2007
Belly Envy
Hey Shirley - this one's for you!
At Rhinebeck this weekend, envy was in full force. You had your yarn envy, fiber envy, fleece envy, sweater (not so much - it was too hot!) envy, shawl envy, sock envy, spindle envy, sheep envy, wheel envy. You name it people wanted it.
All I wanted was a bigger belly. MAN! This Rhinebeck was all about the babies and the strollers and the pregnant chicks. I'm sure I'm not the only one that noticed. Every five seconds I saw another pregnant lady whose belly was bigger than mine. In fact, the first thing I said to Sarah was NO FAIR! Look how cute your belly is!
Wonder Blog Fetus Twins ACTIVATE!
(Picture borrowed from Sarah's blog.)
In case you've been living in a cave, Sarah and I are both pregnant. She's actually due two days before me (her baby's due on Good Friday and my baby's due on Easter. This Jew girl married to a Greek Orthodox finds that super funny!) which means we might as well be due the same second in gestational time. We've had eerily parallel pregnancies - complete with puking at 18 weeks (although Sarah, I'm really sorry to tell you that I've now gone two days with no pukage. I'm not calling it a trend. Three days is a trend. Two is just a happy coincidence.) and it's really wonderful to have someone, out there in the world, who COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDS. Not understands because they went through it a million years ago - but completely understands because they're doing it RIGHT NOW with you! [ETA: No offense to every woman who's ever had a baby before me - I know you know how I feel. But how cool is it to have someone going through it with you NOW? Right now!] It was so great to hang out and compare notes and I love that if we both end up at Rhinebeck next year we can take the same picture with our babies on the OUTSIDE. How cool is that? Thank you Sarah. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the fact that you're still throwing up.
Anyway, back to the bellies. My belly isn't actually that small. And I kind of popped a little bit the other day. It's just that the boobs are so freaking huge they overshadow the belly. I like to say I've reached B Porn Star Fetish Status. I asked Ann if she thought my belly would ever over take the boobage and she told me yeah. The day before you go into labor.
To all of those ladies suffering boob envy - trust me on this: they are SO overrated.
Posted by Cara at 03:08 PM | Comments (48)
October 23, 2007
Movement
I am fairly certain I felt my baby move this morning. I was laying in bed and I felt a sort of roll. Not a flutter or a pop but a roll. I tried to squeeze out a fart (most of the time that I think I feel the baby I can let out some gas and that convinces me I'm wrong) but to no avail. Then I think I felt it again. And then, I poked my belly. DEFINITELY felt it. I poked my belly one more time, got the response I wanted and SPRINTED out of bed to tell Georgie. So I'm going with today, October 23, 2007 (exactly five months before my due date) as the first day I felt my baby move. Today I'm 18 weeks and 2 days.
The weekend was...well, the weekend was, in a word, EXHAUSTING. I have swollen ankles and more nausea than I've had in a few weeks and headaches and it was definitely worth it to spend four days with some of my favorite people - especially the ones I only get to see once a year. There were plenty of people I didn't get to see, people I didn't get to spend enough time with, people I saw only briefly and in the moment was overwhelmed or sick and may not have been my usual pleasant self (no laughing Annie!) I hope you'll all cut me some slack. I am most definitely NOT myself.
And thanks to all the people who stopped to congratulate me and ask how I was feeling. Norma said I should blog the conversation - which was pretty much the same. I'm only giving my answers - you can guess the other half:
ME: Thank you so much! I'm feeling okay.
ME: Yeah. I did throw up today (every day in fact.)
ME: No, we don't know what we're having. We're hoping to be surprised with a human baby.
ME: Yes. They're huge. Thanks for pointing that out.
I did buy some stuff - not a lot - and my most favorite item is on order. I fell in love with a stole I saw at Chris' Briar Rose booth. Sadly, she had sold out of the yarn, but I should receive it in a few weeks. If I knit only one thing to completion this entire pregnancy, I'm determined it will be this. Details when I can actually cast on.
More than anything else, the weekend caused me to be reflective about the blog. Which isn't surprising since all of the people I met or knew before, in fact my knowledge of the the existence of the festival itself, all came about because of the blog. My 3rd year anniversary is on Friday, and I hope to renew my commitment to the blog and what it truly means to me. I might also have a contest.
I'm extremely busy these days with very much diminished energy. I wake up in a panic around the time of the third trip to the bathroom and it takes me awhile to fall back to sleep thinking about all the deadlines and work coming up in the next month. The Spin Out prizes are making me feel awful as well so I appreciate your continued patience with that. I promise they will go out soon! At least, god help me, before Thanksgiving!
Honestly, the best part of my weekend was yesterday. Georgie picked me up in Long Island and we headed to the beach. I can't tell you how much I missed him - more than ever. Being pregnant just isn't as fun without him around.
And I'm so happy to be able to puke in my own bathroom this morning. It's the little things, you know?
Posted by Cara at 09:20 AM | Comments (61)
October 18, 2007
Bring on the Sheep! Bring on the Wool!
So I'm off. If you should need me at all this weekend, I'll be the one on the bench halfway between the bathroom and the food. I'm not planning on buying much, if anything, because honestly, I'm not sure I remember how to knit.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Posted by Cara at 09:19 AM | Comments (28)
October 17, 2007
SPIN OUT 2007: GRAND PRIZE WINNERS!
Please join me in congratulating
She's won the Lendrum Complete generously donated by Toni of The Fold.
She's won the Louet Victoria from Meg at Yarn Expressions. Sasha blogs at Free Wool.
She's won the Socks That Rock Rockin' Sock Club 2008 Membership.
Once again, THANK YOU everyone for your contributions and prize donations and all around fantastic support. The rest of the prizes will be awarded in the next couple of weeks. THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
Posted by Cara at 03:50 PM | Comments (13)
October 16, 2007
SPIN OUT 2007: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
AND I haven't puked today!
THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH! I'm so pleased with the outcome, I can't tell you. I think Heifer International is a FANTASTIC organization and it warms my heart to see you all come out and support it. THANK YOU!
And a HUGE THANK YOU to all the PRIZE DONORS! The raffle would be NOTHING without you all! THANK YOU!
I've sent emails to the winners of the Lendrum, the Louet and the STR Sock Club and I hope to announce them publicly tomorrow. As I said before, the rest of the prize packages will be awarded sometime in the next two weeks - AFTER RHINEBECK. Thank you so much for your patience. My work life is in full swing and I can't get as much done as I need to during a day - so please bear with me. THANK YOU!
Posted by Cara at 04:09 PM | Comments (22)
October 14, 2007
SPIN OUT 2007: SO CLOSE!
Closer than close - we are SO FREAKING CLOSE to $30K I can TASTE IT! C'mon People!!! If you haven't donated to Spin Out yet, here's how:
For every $10.00 you spend on The Heifer International Gift Registry, your name will be placed in the proverbial hat for prize drawings in October. For instance, if you spend $50.00, your name will be put in the hat 5 times. You can win more than one prize if your name is in there more than once - we will not be pulling out names after a win.
VERY IMPORTANT!!!
Last year I realized that while I get registry data, I don't get exact donation amounts. To get your full raffle value, YOU MUST EMAIL ME THE AMOUNT OF YOUR DONATION! Please send an email, with RAFFLE in the subject line, to donations@spin-out.org. If you don't do this, your name will be placed in the raffle ONE TIME. THANK YOU!
And more good news: while I did throw up today - I WAS PUKE FREE YESTERDAY! Although it did make puking today kind of really really sad, I did have one day reprieve. Things ARE getting better. Here's hoping for a PUKE FREE RHINEBECK (at least on my end. I know how some of you fiber folk can put back the booze. COUGHVickiCOUGH.)
HAVE A FANTASTIC WEEKEND!
Cross Posted at spin-out.org.
Posted by Cara at 12:58 PM | Comments (10)
October 12, 2007
SPIN OUT 2007: LAST CHANCE POWER DRIVE!
In the last two days, we went from $21210 to $26240! OH MY! I have to say, I set the bar high this year and I've been kind of doubtful that we'd make it. Not through any fault of all of you, but my own neglect. Last year I was on top of this thing like you wouldn't believe! Updates all the time, egging you all on to give give give! Lots more advertising on various blogs. This year? Not so much. I'm not going to give excuses, but I must tell you how completely appreciative I am of your support for this project. It warms my heart so much. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
So - this is the LAST WEEKEND to give! CAN WE GET TO $30,000?!? The registry will remain open through Monday, October 15, 2007 and then it will CLOSE. My goal is to list the remaining prizes I have here on Monday. It's a busy busy weekend, but I'm going to try my best! If you haven't given yet (or would like to give again!) here's how:
For every $10.00 you spend on The Heifer International Gift Registry, your name will be placed in the proverbial hat for prize drawings in October. For instance, if you spend $50.00, your name will be put in the hat 5 times. You can win more than one prize if your name is in there more than once - we will not be pulling out names after a win.
VERY IMPORTANT!!!
Last year I realized that while I get registry data, I don't get exact donation amounts. To get your full raffle value, YOU MUST EMAIL ME THE AMOUNT OF YOUR DONATION! Please send an email, with RAFFLE in the subject line, to donations@spin-out.org. If you don't do this, your name will be placed in the raffle ONE TIME. THANK YOU!
As I mentioned earlier in the week, I will be announcing the winners of BOTH WHEELS and the SOCKS THAT ROCK CLUB MEMBERSHIP on either Tuesday or Wednesday next week - after the registry has closed. I won't be awarding any other prizes until AFTER Rhinebeck. I'm so sorry, but I just can't get it all done.
HAVE A FANTASTIC WEEKEND!
Cross Posted at spin-out.org.
Posted by Cara at 09:00 AM | Comments (4)
October 10, 2007
SPIN OUT 2007: UPDATE!
Dear Spin Out Rafflers! I have NOT forgotten you! Our total is now at $21210! YAY!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! And we still have FIVE days to go! The RAFFLE will remain open through October 15, 2007. Please consider giving if you haven't already. Here's how:
For every $10.00 you spend on The Heifer International Gift Registry, your name will be placed in the proverbial hat for prize drawings in October. For instance, if you spend $50.00, your name will be put in the hat 5 times. You can win more than one prize if your name is in there more than once - we will not be pulling out names after a win.
VERY IMPORTANT!!!
Last year I realized that while I get registry data, I don't get exact donation amounts. To get your full raffle value, YOU MUST EMAIL ME THE AMOUNT OF YOUR DONATION! Please send an email, with RAFFLE in the subject line, to donations@spin-out.org. If you don't do this, your name will be placed in the raffle ONE TIME. THANK YOU!
PRIZE UPDATE!
I still have a bunch of prizes to photograph and post. I hope to have that done by the weekend. Things have really kicked up a notch over here - I'm in the full throws of the busy season at work which doesn't leave much time for anything else. I will be announcing the winners of BOTH WHEELS and the SOCKS THAT ROCK CLUB MEMBERSHIP on either Tuesday or Wednesday next week - after the registry has closed. I won't be awarding any other prizes until AFTER Rhinebeck. I'm so sorry, but I just can't get it all done.
Cross Posted at spin-out.org.
Posted by Cara at 11:55 AM | Comments (3)
October 08, 2007
The End of The Rainbow
Today I read a gossip site that had Halle Berry saying that despite the fact that she's had some morning sickness, etc she'll take it all happily because she's JUST SO THRILLED TO BE PREGNANT!
You know what? I'm beyond thrilled to be pregnant. We started trying to have a baby in August 2002 - through fits and starts it only took us five years to get where we are now. BUT I am not happy about puking every day (STILL! I'm now SIXTEEN weeks pregnant.) I'm not happy about my incontinence issues. I'm not happy about the heartburn that kicked in full force over the weekend. I'm not happy about any of this pregnancy crap - except, of course, the baby that's growing inside of me. I'm sick of people telling me that the puking is for a good cause. Blah blah blah blah. I can tell you with full certainty that when my head is in the toilet and I'm trying to catch my breath so the puke doesn't come shooting out of my nose my baby is THE LAST thing on my mind. I'm not thinking that this is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm thinking please god MAKE IT STOP! As much as I'm used to it by now (it's been 10 weeks already) I will never be used to it. Alright - enough puke talk. One more thing though - my god - my nipples ITCH so bad I can hardly stand it!
What I really want to talk about today has to do with my fertility treatments. I told you before that we did a frozen embryo transfer to get pregnant. That means that sometime before hand I did a fresh IVF cycle in order to have embryos to freeze. When you do a regular (fresh) IVF cycle there are usually lots of shots involved - but most of those shots are subcutaneous - which means the needle only has to go just under the skin. The needles are generally insulin type needles - short - painless - quick - and you can pretty much do them anywhere. When I was doing my fresh cycle I gave myself the shots in my belly every day. They were really NOTHING. Barely felt them and once you get over the initial shock of sticking yourself, it really is NO BIG DEAL.
Once you get to the later half of the cycle though, you need to start shooting yourself with the big guns - i.e. INTRAMUSCULAR shots. These babies are HUGE! It's a 1.5 inch needle and it's so long because it has to go into your MUSCLE. Most people take these shots in the ass, which sometimes means you have to have someone ELSE give you the shot. That's what I opted for - I'm not that twisty.
For the frozen embryo transfer - things are much easier. I took oral estrogen for a couple of weeks before they transferred the embryos, and about five days before the transfer, I started my Progesterone In Oil shots.
Because the progesterone is in oil, it can be difficult to draw into the needle, as well as inject it. I had all kinds of rituals for the shot. I want to remember it all so I'm telling you. First, I would switch out the 22.5 gauge tip with a much larger 18 gauge tip. I would swab the top of the vial, stick the needle in and draw out my medicine. Then, I'd switch back to the 22.5 gauge tip (you want to inject yourself with the thinnest tip possible) put the cap back on the syringe and stick it under my boob to warm up the medicine. Since I EASILY pass the pencil test, this was the best way I could think of to warm up the oil so it would inject easily. While it was warming, I heated up my hot pad so it was ready for my butt after the shot. Then I'd call Georgie and tell him I was ready. My husband has come through for me in so many ways I can't even tell you - but the shots are up there with the biggest of big feats. He hates all things needle and doctor and hospital but he gave me my shot EVERY SINGLE NIGHT for two months. EVERY NIGHT. The shots go in the upper outer quadrant of your buttocks and they tell you to alternate sides so that you don't get too banged up. After the shot, I would massage the area to break up the oil under the skin so I didn't get too many lumps (the oil can coagulate under the skin), and then I'd go lay down in bed with my heating pad.
The best part? I got pregnant. Which meant I got to continue my shots every day until I was ELEVEN weeks pregnant. If you don't get pregnant, you get to stop the shots as soon as you get a negative test. The shots, in the end, weren't so bad, but once we hit a nerve and I lost all feeling in my ass. Then I started having reactions to the band aids and it was like I had a bee sting that itched SO BAD and I got welts and we'd have to stick to one side for a few shots until the other side healed. I won't mention the bruising. My ass is still numb. On both sides. It's like I got shot up with Novocaine and it's been wearing off for three months. Would I do things differently? Of course not. I've got a baby growing inside of me. But let me tell you I BITCHED about those shots. I hated the shots. Georgie and I were never so happy as the last night we did those shots.
For a long time I thought about the post I'd write and the picture I'd take of those many many vials. Now, at least, I can throw them out. If I ever get a tattoo, I think I might put it right on the spot where I got those shots. It'll probably still be numb.
Lest I sound bitter, I'm going to end this post on a happy note with lots of pictures. As many of you know, I'm a photographer specializing in children's portraits. You could say this is ironic, because I started my business while I was trying to get pregnant - talk about torture. While I have had moments of intense jealousy when hearing about someone else's baby - I've never felt that way about any of my clients. I love all the kids I photograph. They're all beautiful and fun and special and every shoot is different because every kid is different. I'm lucky that most of my clients return year after year. I get to watch these kids grow up!
One of my favorite subjects is a newly born baby. It's rare I get to photograph a NEW born - usually the youngest I get them is about six weeks - and by that time they've already settled into their skin. A couple weeks ago, I was lucky enough to photograph my good friend's newborn - he was about nine days old - and she's graciously allowed me to share some of their photographs here.
As I was developing these photographs, I was struck by just how NEW this baby seems. Right out of the womb. He doesn't even fit into his skin yet. (Please click to see them big - I just love baby pores!) I stopped often to touch my belly and urge my baby to make itself known to me. We're together all day long - I'm anxious to feel s/he in a way that doesn't have to do with my digestive tract. C'mon baby! Nothing - not one thing I have ever done - has ever been more worth it.
L, C
Posted by Cara at 06:39 PM | Comments (111)
October 06, 2007
SCORE!
Well, it wasn't quite the Dressing Room Miracle of May '07, but it came very very close.
Georgie was feeling bad for me and took me shopping - it really sucks that my sister is so far away because she is THE best shopping companion - but Georgie might just be inching ahead. The only thing bad about G is that he thinks I look beautiful in everything - he's like your mother or MY mother wearing love blinders. (Or at least the way my mother was when I was young. Now, honestly, she'd probably tell me I looked fat.) Anyway, I FOUND PANTS!!! And not just one pair of pants - but FOUR PAIRS OF PANTS!
The first place we stopped was Kohl's. The best thing I can say is that we were in a completely different area than where we live - maybe that's why everything was better? Because I have a Kohl's around the corner from my house and most everything I see there is crap. It may just be our store though. So I found the teenytiny maternity department - and wouldn't you know it, they had a great pair of black pants and cords (I'm all about the cords for some reason. I really really wanted cords to wear while pregnant) and when I tried them on - THEY ALL FIT GREAT!!! Even with room in the belly! And while they don't stay up perfectly, YET, they're totally fine and comfortable and look like regular pants. For all you pregnant girls out there (and apparently there a lot of you! YAY!) here's what I got - I bought two pairs of these cords, in both colors and I bought this pair of black pants. Absolutely PERFECT for work! I can't wait to wear them tomorrow! TOTALLY COMFORTABLE! I was like dancing around the store I was so freaking happy. I tried on a couple of maternity tops at the store too - but they were a no go. There was this super cute hippie type prairie shirt that G really liked - but it had some piping that was supposed to go UNDER the boobs and then became ties that went around your back. Yeah. On me they cut RIGHT THROUGH the boobs. It would've been fine if it didn't have the ties, but alas, no. By the way - has anyone else noticed that ALL the clothes these days look like Maternity wear? The new Vera Wang line at Kohl's is unbelievably maternity. It's crazy!
So then we left Kohl's, or G walked out and I skipped, hopped and jumped like a madwoman, and right next door was a Lane Bryant! Hearing my sister (she gets credit for being the first to say LB) and all you other gals in my head I said SURE! Let's go in! Ten minutes later I walked out with SIX long sleeve v-neck t-shirts (the absolute STAPLE of my wardrobe) that fit great in the boobs and have PLENTY of room for my growing belly. I bought one in every color except the white. PINK baby! (And more and more I'm realizing my husband has a thing for PURPLE. He's always going for the purple. Make a mental note.) I also bought some underwear! YAY! (The woman at the store told me LB now has maternity too, but I think it would be too big for me, honestly. One hint though - she said DON'T order online, come into a store and order. She said it's A LOT cheaper that way.)
DUDES! I WAS FLUSH!
The last stop we made last night was Target. I thought maybe a store pretty far from home might have a better selection? I was skeptical, but I tried. I FOUND JEANS! I bought a pair of Liz Lange maternity jeans that fit pretty darn good and AREN'T super low and the boot cut is tolerable and doesn't look ridiculous. What was nice about these, too, is that my pre-pregnancy size actually fit. These pants are sized, rather than S, M & L. My final purchase of the day was totally frivolous and I may actually return it, but I couldn't help myself. It's a coat - RED - with a fantastic lining. It's a corduroy material and it fits in the boobs and has plenty of room for belly growth. It's kind of lightweight too so should take me far into the winter since I'm already hotter than hell. For some reason I can't find a picture of it on the website - maybe I'll have to model my new clothes. Or not.
I may hit up some other stores today. Now I want to wear cute maternity tops. With the v-necks, jeans and cords my wardrobe now looks EXACTLY the way it did last Fall when I WASN'T pregnant. Which is good, in a way, because these are the clothes I'm most comfortable in (even if they are pretty boring) but now I want to look CUTE. Cute in a way I can only pull off when I'm knocked up. You know?
The next big hurdle - bras. I desperately need bras and if you think pants shopping sucks, you ain't seen nothin' yet.
Thanks so much, everyone, for your great suggestions and fantastic support! YAY! Now if only it would actually get cold....
Posted by Cara at 08:21 AM | Comments (93)
October 05, 2007
What You See Is What You Get
Thanks for all the comments and emails of support yesterday. Sorry for the mini hissy fit - usually I let the naysayers just roll off my back but I had just come home from clothes shopping and I was hungry and really? I think it was the suggestion that I start a NEW blog because the commenter was unhappy with the direction this one has taken lately. Like, does she think if I talk about all the peeing and puking on another blog the knitting is going to magically reappear on THIS blog? THERE IS NO KNITTING! I hate it. You hate it. But I'm sorry folks, what you see is what you get. God I hope it changes soon. But for now, DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT! And PLEASE - move along quietly. I'm in a fragile emotional state right now. Poor Vicki got my call at work yesterday where I started bawling like a baby. HORMONES ARE NOT PRETTY!
The worst part? (And I hesitate to say this but I'm going to because I'm pregnant goddammit and if you can't say what you want when you're pregnant and miserable, when are you going to get the opportunity?) The worst part is that I know who left the comment. IP addresses, it turns out, aren't always that anonymous. I don't know this person well at all, but she's actually been a guest of mine and I feel that I've been generous with my time and energy and this is the payback I get? That was the worst part.
Okay, on to other miseries. I took the first fifteen commenter's advice yesterday and after I dropped Georgie off at the train I headed over to Old Navy. Turns out the one closest to me has Maternity stuff. I'm really just looking for pants - I'm okay with shirts right now. I tried on like ten pairs of different pants in all kinds of styles and they ALL SUCKED! Practically all of them have that stupid low rise that I can't wear - period! I don't have that big of a belly yet and still they're falling off and I have to constantly pull them up and blah blah blah. Then I went to the Destination Maternity outlet right by my house - where I bought the great shorts I've worn every day - and I tried on a million pants there. All freaking boot cut, but the big problem is that the mediums are WAY too tight (I look like I'm 7 months pregnant) and the larges fall off me - everywhere, not just the belly. My next try is going to be Ann Taylor Loft which now has maternity and Sears and JC Penney. And the Gap I guess but I'm not really optimistic about that. Oh and thanks for all the Bella Band suggestions - I tried one on a little while ago and I HATED it. I don't like anything tight across my belly and I can't see it being comfortable when you have open zippers and buttons digging into your belly. Plus that means I have to wear EXTREMELY long shirts to cover the thing. So no go on the Bella Band - I'm glad it worked for a lot of you, but it's not for me.
I need ONE nice pair of pants - not SUPER nice (they could be black jeans for all I care) but they can't be cargo and they can't be sweats and they can't be overalls and I'd prefer pockets - so I can work. This is my super busy season - I'm scheduled to work practically EVERY weekend through November and I need to feel comfortable, be able to move around a lot (it's hard physical work photographing kids - you're up you're down you're all around.) ONE pair. I don't think that's a lot to ask. Do you? Trust me, when I'm not working I'm living in sweats. Or shorts. Or my underwear honestly, but for work I need something more. I'll let you know how it goes. Oh and I don't sew.
ETA: Thanks for all the dress/skirt suggestions. Not really practical for work when I'm on the ground and running after kids. Plus, I was wearing a great long skirt and then I had some chafing issues. And a rash. Oh, is that too much information? Yeah. I want pants. ;-) And I have to find a different Target. The one closest to me had the worst maternity stuff last time I checked.
And just so I'm not leaving anything out - my craving of the moment is Jujyfruits. Or Dots. Or Skittles. But really Jujyfruits. And I ate some salad yesterday for the first time since I got pregnant. Which I consider a GREAT leap forward.
Thanks, as always, for reading. I appreciate it.
L, C
Posted by Cara at 08:32 AM | Comments (145)
October 04, 2007
Read or Don't Read, but PLEASE...
feel free to NOT tell me about it.
I received this comment today:
Commenter: .
Email: no@where.com
Comment:
Cara,
Perhaps a baby blog to share vomiting and incontinence issues would be appropriate?
I have to say that even though I've enjoyed reading your (mostly) knitting blog for a couple of years now, the pregnancy tales from the gross side are not my taste.
I'm happy for you, and congratulations on fulfilling your dream of motherhood, but I did not subscribe to a pregnancy blog and I will no longer be reading.
Dear Anonymous Commenter:
While I appreciate your opinion very much and I'm sorry my blog is no longer meeting your expectations, why do you feel it's necessary to leave me a comment that you won't be reading my blog any more? The comment, in and of itself, is respectful and nice, but my life is stressful enough these days without you making me feel worse. I take my blog very seriously - ie, I WORK HARD to bring you all the pretty photos and knitting. I'm just barely hanging on here; I don't have the energy, inclination OR desire to start another blog.
As I said, I'm sorry the blog is not what you want it to be. Maybe a private email? My email address is cara AT januaryone DOT com. Maybe not say anything at all - JUST STOP READING!
I'm sorry if I'm being ubersensitive, but if you puked every day and occasionally peed your pants chances are you wouldn't be in the best mood either.
Thanks for understanding. I wish you all the best as well.
Best,
Cara
Posted by Cara at 11:51 AM
Some things never change.
Guess what I found out yesterday? I learned that the clothes that looked awful on me when I WASN'T pregnant are the same freaking clothes available with some stretchy fabric over the belly now that I AM pregnant.
We went to Destination Maternity yesterday and I've never been so depressed about clothes in my life. Forget the fact that the belly panels are still way too big on me, the fucking pants don't make it up past my thighs. Which really AREN'T that big (my thighs I mean)! It's all this boot cut crap. I can't wear boot cut crap. Couldn't wear it when I WASN'T pregnant and I can't wear it now that I AM pregnant.
I need clothes. I have to work this weekend and I don't have ANYTHING to wear. Well, I have the same pair of maternity cargo shorts I've been wearing every single freaking day since SPIN OUT (which finally have to be washed because walking on the street yesterday I had to cough and wouldn't you know it, I "leaked." Which is just a nice way of saying I PISSED MY PANTS! AGAIN! AND I WASN'T EVEN PUKING!) My shirts all still fit me, for the most part (I'm fond of saying I've reached fetish porn start status with the size of my boobs) but I need pants.
I'm ready. I'm really really ready for this pregnancy stuff to become fun. Any time now. I'm ready.
PS - If you want to see the one and only belly shot I've had taken, check here. Although please ignore the chin thing going on. I look like Jabba the freaking Hut.
Posted by Cara at 08:40 AM | Comments (139)
October 03, 2007
Socktoberfest!
Before we get to knitting, let's get a little business out of the way - shall we?
Bruce. I've listened to the new album, and how shall I put this with all the love and respect and adoration in my heart - I'm very UNDERwhelmed. I've been reading my favorite fan site for months now and these people seem to love it - they make me look like a casual fan - but I'm not sure I get it. The "wall of sound" did nothing but give me a headache. There are some good ones on here, no doubt, but I'm reserving my final judgment until I hear them live. And no, we don't have tickets yet. But I have faith in my man.
Baby. Let's start with the things that are improving: I don't have to eat every thirty seconds. In fact, I can go an hour or two sometimes THREE without food passing my lips and I don't get sick. I call that progress. I'm also (most nights) sleeping better and I have more energy during the day. Like I don't have to all of a sudden crawl into bed because if I don't I'm going to die. I've been getting up at my regular time in the morning (about 7:30 ish) and at around 8 I have to crawl into bed or I'm going to die, but during the day I'm pretty okay. My appetite has branched out as well. I can eat more foods and every day I get a little bit more adventurous. (Pizza for dinner last night! YAY!)
Okay - the bad news. I'm still puking every single fucking morning! I wake up. Eat my breakfast. Puke. Then eat another (different!) breakfast. Fun times. Although that's it. I'm pretty much okay the rest of the day. I mean, I get bouts of nausea every now and then, but definitely not all day. The other bad news - headaches. I pretty much get a headache every day now. I've read this is very common and my sister got a lot of headaches when she was pregnant. Yes I'm drinking enough. Yes I'm eating enough. Ditto sleeping, peeing, and whatever else you're going to tell me to do. I'm thinking it's a combination of eye strain (I have an eye doctor appt today), allergies, and just regular old pregnancy fun times. As Kay told someone at Spin Out - if there's a symptom, I've got it.
Whew! Now onto the SOCKS!
Here is a spectacularly craptacular picture of (almost) all the socks I've knit!
Turns out, including the 2 sockapalooza pairs I've knit, I've only completed 21 pairs! Doesn't that seem too few? I don't know - I was thinking I'd knit at least 30. But I counted a bunch of times and 21 seems to be the magic number. We've got two pairs of finished knee highs, ten pairs of jaywalkers, five pairs of monkeys, and two pairs of stockinettes. I've also knit seven single socks. And off the top of my head I have about six socks in various states of being knit. Hmmm.
Here's the first pair and the last pair I knit:
The first pair were plain stockinette knit with Regia Cotton Surf. The last pair were STR monkeys.
Believe it or not, I also started a new sock!
It's a nice mod on garter rib that I found over at Ravelry. I'm calling the socks Chawne's Rib because Chawne's the one who came up with it! So far so good!
I think I figured out my problem with knitting these days. In my mind and my heart I WANT to be knitting. I see patterns and want to make them immediately. I miss the old days of knitting for hours on end like you wouldn't believe. The problem is I have a limited amount of time to get things done during the day - and I have to get those things done or I won't have clients anymore. By the time I'm done my work, the time I would normally spend knitting the night away, I'm so exhausted that after a round or two I can't take it anymore. And I've had A LOT of eye strain, so that doesn't help any. Add in the headaches and voila - NO KNITTING! It's so sad. Knitting was my main source of relaxation and it really sucks that it's such a struggle for me. I'm hoping that the puke to knit ratio will improve everyday and I'll at least be able to finish a sock. Although I'd really love to be knitting a sweater. For me.
Thanks for reading! Have a great day!
L, C
Posted by Cara at 09:19 AM | Comments (62)
October 01, 2007
SPIN OUT 2007: LIVING THE DREAM!
First things first - I didn't take a SINGLE picture on Saturday! I'm SO SORRY! It was a wonderful, crazy, emotional, exhausting, triumphant, surreal day and you'll forgive me for slacking off!
The best part of the day for me was Ann, sitting next to me, spinning the most beautiful fiber, saying over and over again how fantastic it was to be spinning in Central Park, the sun on her bare toes. See - this was the dream. Two years ago we were sitting in her den talking about how great it would be to spin outside - to have a whole bunch of spinners outside, in the sun, spinning our little hearts out. We had a nice test run last year in the torrential rains, but this year? This year we were most definitely LIVING THE DREAM!
Thank you all so much for coming out and spending the day with us - spinners, knitters, people interested in the fiber arts. It was a great day for me. I was with some of my favorite people, got to meet new people, helped people learn a new craft.
Thanks to Jenny and Peggie and Regina and Martha and everyone else giving lessons to new spinners for teaching their hearts out! Thanks to all my guild friends, the Long Island gals, who made the trek into the big city! Thanks to Kay and Regina for watching out for me and making sure I ate! (You SAVED me!) Thanks to the spinners and knitters who came far and wide! Thanks to all the tourists who stopped and gawked! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
Even though I didn't take pictures, I know everyone else did. Please leave me a comment and let me know where I can look! I really appreciate it! In the meantime - try here and here. I know there are LOTS of pictures to see.
OH MY GOD! I was EXHAUSTED! It was all I could Sunday to climb out of bed and throw up. ;-) Anyway, the FUN IS NOT OVER! THE RAFFLE CONTINUES ON UNTIL OCTOBER 15! I'm thrilled to announce that our total as of this morning is $17300! THANK YOU!!! The goal is in reach. If you'd like to donate, here's how:
For every $10.00 you spend on The Heifer International Gift Registry, your name will be placed in the proverbial hat for prize drawings in October. For instance, if you spend $50.00, your name will be put in the hat 5 times. You can win more than one prize if your name is in there more than once - we will not be pulling out names after a win.
VERY IMPORTANT!!!
Last year I realized that while I get registry data, I don't get exact donation amounts. To get your full raffle value, YOU MUST EMAIL ME THE AMOUNT OF YOUR DONATION! Please send an email, with RAFFLE in the subject line, to donations@spin-out.org. If you don't do this, your name will be placed in the raffle ONE TIME. THANK YOU!
Cross Posted at spin-out.org.
Posted by Cara at 09:29 AM | Comments (20)