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November 26, 2008

If You're Happy and You Know It

Say HOORAY!

Hope everyone has a fantastic Thursday - or Thanksgiving - whichever the case may be! Thank you all for reading!!!

(A few more pictures of Meli after the jump. It's been awhile.)

Have a great one!
L, C

Posted by Cara at 04:04 PM | Comments (22)

November 25, 2008

Movin' and Groovin'

Things are still pretty much status quo over here. The baby's still nursing a lot and I'm still working a lot. My mom's here for a couple days to help out with baby wrangling so I can work and G and I even had dinner out tonight. Together. Alone. Sans bebe. Nice.

Thank you all so much for your comments and suggestions. It's helpful to know others have gone before and survived. Meli is teething. I guess. She doesn't have any teeth and I'm convinced we're going to go to her nine month checkup with no teeth. But they definitely hurt her at times. She's also on the verge of extreme movement. For now she bounces up and down while sitting and moves around like that and she's started pulling up on everything, well, mostly me, but still she's pulling up. Maybe both her teeth and the moving have to do with her wanting to nurse and giving up the paci. Who knows. She's not leaving our bed anytime soon because we all really love having her there and ultimately it's what's working for us.

Today I received a package of yarn. Purple tweedy yarn. Beautiful soft yarn that's wool with a touch of silk. It might just be the most gorgeous yarn I've ever seen. I promise to take a picture of it soon. I'll be swatching ASAP. The thing I miss most about life pre baby is knitting. Definitely the knitting. Oh to hold those two sticks again and the gorgeous gorgeous yarn.

I'm going to dream about this yarn. In between the nursing.

Posted by Cara at 12:57 AM | Comments (14)

November 20, 2008

Wonder Woman

I have found my super power. I am The Human Pacifier.

About a week ago, Meli decided to give up her pacifier - the plastic one. Now many of you, especially the ones with teenagers who went off to college with their pacifiers tied around their necks at the ready, will think I'm extremely lucky that she seems to have given it up on her own. And I would be if she were say two. But she's only eight months old and her need to suck is strong. She she sucks on me. A lot.

It used to be that whenever she went to sleep - for the night or for naps - we'd lay down and nurse and then when it was clear that she was asleep and only comfort sucking, I'd switch out the boob for the paci. She'd sleep pretty much through the night, maybe waking up once or twice to nurse for a short while and a lot of the time if I stuck the paci back in her mouth she was good to go. And she'd nap well too - maybe I'd have to go in and give her a cuddle and the pacifier, but I'd usually get a good hour or so.

No more. Now she wants to nurse and nurse and nurse and if I try to slip my boob out she literally clutches at it in her sleep and stuffs it in her mouth. Her desperation is simultaneously melt your heart and a bit scary. It takes forever to leave her for naps and when she finally does fall asleep, she's up in like fifteen/twenty minutes still wanting to sleep but needing to nurse/suck all over again.

I can't get anything done. That's why I'm writing this at 2:30 in the morning. I'm up working. This is my most stressful month of the year and I have two more weekends of shooting and probably another month of processing and designing before I'm done for the holidays and man I'm already exhausted. I'm not complaining, per se. I'm happy to have work to do and I'm loving my baby more and more every second (if that's even possible!) I just wish she'd go back to her pacifier.

Of course, the main problem is that in my exhaustion I'm questioning all of my parenting choices. I shouldn't have let her sleep with us. I should've done some kind of sleep training thing so that she'd fall asleep on her own. In her crib. Deep down I'm happy she's with us. I LOVE nursing and I'd miss her so much and I know Georgie loves having her with us. This is the right choice for us and if I wasn't so busy it wouldn't matter. But I am and it's hard and doubt is easy.

She's so much fun these days, I wish you could hang with her. Sometimes I'm sad that I'm the only one that really sees all her nuances and funny personality traits. By the time G gets home from work she's sick of me and desperate for him (their love affair is precious!) and she's also ready for the day to end and she doesn't do her little laugh when I pretend to hiccup. Or when she burps and I say excuse you in a really exaggerated voice. Or when we lay face to face and look each other in the eyes and I just can't believe she's mine. I'm sad for G and all of you that you don't get to share, but also I'm so so lucky that I get to be her mom. That's my true super power.

I have to get back to work. Thanks for the chat.

PS - When I was growing up we sang The Inky Dinky spider. Most of the books and my sister's kids all say The Itsy Bitsy Spider. But the class we're going to sings The Eensy Weensy Spider. I just found it interesting is all. I'm not singing to Meli at 4 AM, but the thoughts do pop in.

PPS - The winners of last week's contest were Lisa (grand prize) and Caitlin (sock yarn)! CONGRATULATIONS!!

Posted by Cara at 02:40 AM | Comments (66)

November 14, 2008

4:00 AM Musings

So which is it: inky dinky? itsy bitsy? eensy weensy?

Posted by Cara at 06:39 PM | Comments (79)

November 10, 2008

You're All Winners In My Book!

So I've picked two winners and they have both been notified. I'm just waiting to hear from one of the winners before I announce them here. Stayed tuned.

But really - you are ALL winners! Way to restore my faith in contests! WHOO HOO! We'll have to have another one soon. And because I love you all, I'm offering a conciliation prize!

Doing the Laundry with Daddy from January One on Vimeo.

Yup. That's right. I love you so much I've uploaded a long boring video of my kid. It's true, I've become one of THOSE parents. Anyway, my little one turns eight months old tomorrow! EIGHT MONTHS! I'm astonished. We were watching some video the other day of her when she was so little and oh my god already I miss my baby. This video is a good example of how she doesn't stop. Ever. I fear teeth and true mobility are weeks if not days away. I'm afraid. Very afraid.

Enjoy!

THANK YOU!

Posted by Cara at 07:24 PM | Comments (22)

November 05, 2008

A Brand New Day

The relief I feel this morning is palpable.

My "come to Obama" moment came fairly late in this election. I voted for Hillary Clinton in the primary and wasn't going to give in to all the hype surrounding Obama. My sister, who at 26 is in a very different stage of her life than me, was all about the ideology of the election. "Things are changing! Even if we lose, look at all the young people who have mobilized because of him." But I was very, very afraid. For me, this attitude change wasn't enough. We needed to WIN at all costs. This country has been so severely damaged in the last eight years that it might not be fixed in my lifetime. I wondered why the democrats couldn't just put up an easy win. What were our choices? A polarizing woman who had dynasty written all over her, regardless of her intelligence and readiness for the job and a fairly inexperienced man of color. Were they kidding?!?

I didn't just vote for Obama because the other choice was not an option (and in my opinion, offensive on many, many levels), but because I came to respect his intelligence, his pragmatism and his thoughtfulness. He ran an admirable campaign - especially in this day and age. And the idea that we would have a leader who was (FINALLY!) smarter than me - well - that was just the icing on the cake.

Still, though, I was very scared. This election, while historical and significant for our country and the world, is historical and significant for me on a whole other level. This election, I voted as a mother. As a parent, I'm making decisions that will affect my daughter's life on a daily basis. I will never forget the day I voted in the primary - I was pregnant and the whole walk over to the polling center I talked to my baby. I told that baby that we were going to vote in an historic election. That we were going to choose a woman to possibly lead our country. But I also told my baby that there was a man of color on the ballot and the fact that I had to choose between a woman and a man of color was the hardest and best possible choice to make. Everything they had ever told me in my life might possibly be true.

In the end, I didn't vote for me or my country. I voted for my daughter. I elected a president that can change the trajectory of her path in this world, the vision she has of our country, her own self-esteem. I elected a president that truly shows her - not just with platitudes, but with action - THAT ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.

Thank you America. Thank you for helping me make all things possible for my daughter. Thank you.

Posted by Cara at 08:02 AM | Comments (46)

November 04, 2008

VOTE, you must!

We don't care who you vote for (well, actually, we care very, very much - but it's still more important that you actually VOTE!)

JUST DO IT! GO! VOTE!

Posted by Cara at 08:13 AM | Comments (32)